Hello Kyle!
by moonlitelm
Summary: Kyle signed the contract before he knew what he was getting himself into. Now, eight years later, he's once more under the wrath of one Eric Cartman.


Inspired by a silly conversation Dae and I had. She amused me .-. so this one is for her. Even though she isn't into South Park. She better read this (

**Hello Kyle!**

"I'm not doing it." Kyle declared, tossing his flash card onto the table.

"But _Kahl_ you signed a contract, _Kahl._" Eric's husky voice growled as he glared at the Jewish boy.

Kenny and Stan nodded in agreement, giving their red headed friend a sympathetic look. "You did sign a contract Ky." Stan said softly.

"I don't fucking care! I'm not doing it!" Kyle shook his head angrily as he stood, hands on his hips.

"Kyle...remember a certain incident about eight years ago?" Kenny asked. "One where you went to the courts, and they told you that you did in fact, have to suck a certain fatasses balls, because you signed a contract?" He watched as an annoyed look flickered over Kyle's face. "Yeah, that incident. Well, this is similar to that incident. Except all you have to do is put on the outfit for the Halloween party at Token's. No balls attached...Unless...you want there to be balls attached?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and laughed as the redhead hurled a pillow at his face.

"Look Ky, none of us wants to see you in that outfit, but it's the one you chose from the bowl." Stan shrugged, nodding to the bowl to emphasize his point.

"I don't care! Can't I just pick another one?" Kyle asked desperately, eyes pleading at his two best friends, and one friendemy.

"No." The three said at once, before exchanging glances.

"You signed the contract my dear Jew. That means you have to wear it."

"Fuck _off _Cartman! I'm not wearing the goddamn outfit!" Kyle screamed finally.

"Not wearing what outfit Kyle?" Gerald asked as he walked into the room, eyes scanning the newspaper for 'interesting cases' he could take on.

"Ugh, it was a stupid dare. We made a list of stupid outfits, put them in the bowl, and whatever one we picked was the one we had to wear. But mine is humiliating!" Kyle explained to his father, lowering himself back down into a sitting position.

"He signed a contract Mister Broflovski." Eric said gravely. Gerald looked up from his paper then, and Eric grinned internally. They _so_ had this case in the bag.

"Well Kyle, if you signed a contract, you have to do it. You can't just back out. You could get sued you know! You think you'd have learned your lesson after the Imaginationland incident." Gerald shook his head lightly. "I'm sorry Kyle, but if you don't follow through with this you're grounded."

"And I'll hire your dad as a lawyer. We're bound to win then." Eric cackled, eyes glowing with mirth.

"Oh please, like my dad would go up against me." Kyle scoffed, eyes turning expectantly towards his father. The man was silent. "Whoa, dad, you're kidding right? You wouldn't really go against me?"

"Well Kyle, if you break the law, it's my duty as a lawyer to put you behind bars. Or dish out whatever other punishment myself and my client can decide upon."

Kyle's face glowed red with anger, and he looked back at the fatass sitting in front of him. "Fine. I'll wear it." He growled through gritted teeth, jaw clenched tightly in an attempt to suppress his rage.

"I'm so glad you agreed to this Kahl." Eric purred, "We'll go get you the clothes. All you have to do is wear them to the Halloween party."

"I'm going to freeze my nuts off." Kyle complained. He watched as his dad walked out of the room once more.

"Oh, we'll get you a coat to go over your clothes. You can wear that until we get to the party. Then it's coat off for the rest of the night." Eric got up from his seat, stretching lazily. "Come on Kinneh, we have shopping to do."

Kenny bounced up and followed closely at Eric's heels.

"What, you're not going to go with them?" Kyle snapped at his best friend, watching Stan with narrowed eyes.

The dark haired boy shrugged. "I guess I should." He rushed to his feet, and out the door, leaving Kyle calling after him,

"I was just joking!"

*

Kyle hugged the coat closer to his body as he stepped out of his car, and up Token's walkway. He had driven himself, refusing to give his three friends the satisfaction of seeing him in the _horrendous_ outfit.

He had been ready to skip his insulin to get out of having to go the party. Knowing Token, Bebe would be there and...well, knowing Bebe, everyone – including his _mother_ – would see the outfit by the end of the night.

He walked inside, not bothering to knock. _I doubt any of them will be able to hear it over the music anyway_ he grumbled.

"Kahl! How _nice_ to see you! Allow me to take your coat?" Eric's voice purred from the bathroom doorway. He stood, watching Kyle with predatory eyes.

"I'd rather you didn't." Kyle complained, even as he held out his arms for fatass to tug the coat off.

Eric laughed as he pulled the _very_ long coat off of Kyle's slim frame. His laughter faded when he saw the outfit. "Y-you hat?" He stuttered, eyes wide. Kyle gave a furious sigh, grabbing his black Ushanka and dragging it off his head.

He had ditched the green one _years_ ago.

Eric swallowed the lump in his throat as his eyes trailed over Kyle's body. He looked like a fucking stripper. A super fucking hot stripper.

The wig was _blue_ of all colors, and fell to Kyle's shoulders, perfectly straight. The Jew had had his eyes done up with liner and mascara, but had adamantly refused the lipstick. Eric's eyes traveled lower to see the rest of the outfit.

Two bright blue, glittery stars covered Kyle's nipples. They were held up with the same material strapless bras were made of, and clung tightly to his flat chest. Eric shivered, glancing even further down, past Kyle's little bellybutton to his bottoms...

The thong was glittery and matched the star bra he wore. But it wasn't the highlight of his outfit.

The best part was the foot long dog tail, attached to the underwear with a belt-like contraption. The fluffy appendage was curled upwards, like a husky dog. As Kyle shifted his weight from one side to the other, the tail bobbed. It almost looked like it was wagging.

Eric chuckled. "Happy to see me Kahl?" He asked, reaching forward to shake the tail with his hand.

Kyle smacked his hand away, giving him a dirty look "Go fuck yourself fatass." He snapped, kicking off his shoes. The outfit looked even more ridiculous with his winter boots on. He'd rather rock the outfit than look totally out of place in it. "Where's everyone else?"

"Downstairs in the family room." Eric cleared his throat and hung Kyle's coat up, before leading the way to Token's basement.

A few people fell silent as Kyle walked down the stairs. Outside of his usual nerd clothes, he had an almost womanly physique.

Clyde Donovan whistled loudly, swinging his shirt around. He swayed on his feet, and Kenny reached out to support him. The poor kid looked drunk out of his mind. "Who's the hottie Eric?" He hollered, laughing as he slung an arm around Kenny's shoulders.

Kyle shook his head adamantly as Eric pulled him in close. "Hey everyone! Get a look at Kyle!" His deep voice boomed out, managing somehow to be louder than the stereo and dozens of teenagers that filled the room.

Almost every head turned in their direction. Kyle could feel his face heating up as he was stared at with a mixture of lust, jealousy, and surprise from the rather large crowd.

A flash went off, and he took the time to glare at Stan, of all people.

Kenny bounded up the steps, meeting Kyle and Eric halfway. "Come join the party guys!" He laughed, taking Kyle from Eric. He dragged the Jew down the stairs, and into the throngs of people.

"I will kill you." Kyle mouthed over Kenny's shoulder, before they were swallowed by the mass of bodies at the bottom of the steps.

All in all, it was a perfect night.


End file.
